Hello World! Giving this a test...

Markdown? 

I'm often slow to trends but better late than never, right? I loved reading other peoples defaults so decided to do my own; I think I might even pull it out to its own permanent page as well as it's nice to track where I've been.

• Mail Client: Mailmate / Airmail (iOS) / Proton (Work)
• Mail Server: iCloud with a custom domain / Proton
• Notes: Obsidian / Noteplan
• To-Do: Noteplan / Obsidian
• iPhone Photo Shooting: Camera.app
• Photo Management: Photos.app
• Calendar: Noteplan
• Cloud File Storage: iCloud
• RSS: NetNewsWire
• Contacts: Contacts.app
• Browser: Safari
• Weather: Carrot Weather
• Calculator: PCalc
• Chat: iMessage / Signal / Matrix
• Bookmarks: Actively Looking
• Read It Later: Omnivore
• Mastodon: Ivory
• Blog: weblog.lol
• Word Processing: Office365 - Word
• Spreadsheets: Office365 - Excel / Numbers.app
• Presentations: Office365 - Powerpoint / Keynote.app
• Shopping Lists: Twos
• Personal Data Log: AnyLog
• Budgeting and Personal Finance: spreadsheets
• News: Apple News+
• Music: Apple Music 
• Podcasts: Overcast
• Gaming: Switch / iPhone
• Password Management: Bitwarden
• Terminal: Terminal
• Code Editor: Vi (Need something better)

So I'm a 40+ year old white dude trying to figure out life. This is especially true after a pretty massive reset as we (I'm married with kids) spent the past 13 years living in a couple of different countries in Africa (Kenya & South Africa) and we visited a number of other countries across the globe. We initially moved as optimistic & hopeful white folks thinking we'd change the world. What we discovered is that we had a lot of good ol' colonization vibes & a definite white savior complex in us that needed to be divested of as quickly as possible. It wasn't what we expected to find by any means but it was necessary to deal with (and forever changed us).  

To say it another way, we moved thinking we had lots of answers with our bachelor degrees and all the experiences of American life but what we learned was that all of that was rubbish wrapped up in pride in our own (American? White?) abilities over and against "them". Degrees and expertise and the like have their place but we didn't have the lock on solutions and empowerment that we thought we did. 

We learned there was a world and wealth of possibility that our white systems naturally desired to colonize and squash. The reality though was that those other ways and systems and cultures were full of amazing possibility and had the answers the people there needed. We didn't. Here are a few brief examples of what I'm talking about:

Consider nonprofit structures. Boards, organizational charts, middle management and fancy titles are colonized structures rooted in notions of right & wrong, predominantly. Many of the indigenous spaces I've been in leaned heavily towards polycentric teams, more decentralized structures and mutuality rooted in honor/shame dynamics.

Or what of "licensing" which may look (very) different in decolonized spaces? Does operating authority come from a piece of paper, a long degree and governing board? or does it come from a body of experience lived out in a community or some direct community appointing?

Or how about how conflict is dealt with? Do we let important figures sit with us and work through things or initiate legal responses and follow typical organizational impression management routines that squash problems and problem people?

Or how about education? Is it Eurocentric? Does it happen in isolation of community and activities that have impact or is it prioritizing indigenous perspectives and partnering with communities?

These are just a few of the examples. As we began to reckon with them, our posture began to change and we sought to decolonize and divest. We were able to build some deep relationships and learn from people we'd come to help. We stopped trying to lead from the front and instead strived to empower others. That gave way to coming alongside them, which eventually gave way to celebrating and encouraging from behind local voices and people. "Do this" became "how can I help." Quizzing questions that judged solutions became (hopefully) powerful questions that sought to draw out local solutions instead. It wasn't always easy (and in fact pushing for this sort of change in colonized organizational spaces is part of the reason we are back in our country of birth) but it is always worth it. 

Now, back in my home country, my challenge as a white dude, personally, is to figure out how to open and let my colonized world be transformed into a welcoming/inclusive decolonized space, as much as possible. Personally I find this decolonization work to be really, really critical (and definitely not easy). It's worth it though. 

I'll add that only so much can be done if individuals seek to decolonize but the organizations and spaces they belong to stay the same. As we individually change we need to let our organizations and structures change as well. I'll also add an important note on conflict: one or the other doesn't naturally protect from harmful leaders. Power is power and the tendencies to misuse use it exists everywhere power exists and people cling to it. Decolonization in this sense isn't a panacea (although personally I think it's individually helped me divest of unhealthy relationships with power).

I really enjoyed this post from Derek Sivers on taking a year to read the Bible. Even if you aren't a religious person, there is value in understanding where others come from (and where, as Sivers points out, western culture originates). He has two main suggestions: sample translations and then pick something easy to understand and supplement your reading with the Bible Project; they are both great suggestions!

For the first, don't just blindly pick a translation. Read about them, their translation philosophies as well as academic reviews. Not every translation is the same. For example, while the Passion Translation likes to call itself a translation, it was made by one guy who has refused to disclose any sort of translation committee and adds a healthy dose of pet theologies that aren't in the original text. The Message is a paraphrase where the author puts everything into his own words and phrasing (I do like the Message quite a bit and respect that the author is upfront and honest about what it is and is not). Personally, I'd recommend the NRSV as it's pretty straightforward to read, is a good translation with a published/transparent committee and is used in a lot of academic resources. 

The Bible Project is also a great resource to help digest what's going on in the text. The team behind it have done a great job distilling out key themes and plot points that otherwise are easily lost in such a large and open book.

Ultimately I'll just say that I've found a lot of value in reading about the cultures and faiths of people different to me - it really has built understanding that has allowed me to connect with them from a place of understanding rather than fear or concern or superiority. If the Bible is different to you, consider checking out what it actually is (and isn't).  

Life has been interesting. 

As I've mentioned in various places, I'm in a bit of transition. Part of it, as alluded to in the last post, involves unraveling the stories told about me. Part of it is understanding where I've been and how that shapes things moving forward. To that end, a brief timeline of life has been helpful to consider:

• I grew up moving around a lot. The longest I lived anywhere was about 5 years until leaving for college. My parents were in the ministry and moved **"as the Lord willed"**.  My father's speciality (if you can call it that) is finding healing in broken church situations. 
• That continued until I left for university. I stayed in my university town for about a decade. Some key milestones here were:
• Working 8+ years in the university's IT department. I started as a help desk technician and quickly found myself on the sysadmin team were I worked primarily with various flavors of unix, some OS X and some windows machines. 
• I found a deep appreciate for simple church setups where church life is found in a genuine community of people living life together. 
• I met my wife and got married near the end of that decade. 
• Career wise, I made what turned out to be a dramatic shift at the end of this decade. Leaving everything behind, my wife and I moved to southern Africa where we spent the next 4 years.
• I had gone to focus on tech stuff in the ministry we had joined but that gradually shifted though as I increasingly got involved on the ministry side of things. 
• By the end of this 4 year window I was primarily in an active ministry role, discovering a love for coaching and training.
• At the end of this 4 years we transitioned to eastern Africa for 4 1/2 years. 
• Here, my primary focus was coaching and training indiginous church planting leaders and I loved it. 
• Near the end, it was increasingly challenging due to some tensions with the home base. 
• The tensions became worse and a transition became necessary. Organizationally we were asked to return to southern Africa to help rebuild after some unfortunate internal conflict. We did, and were there for the past 4 years. 
  • While there, my love of coaching and training continued to develop and I:
  • Helped revamp the core tranining curriculum
  • Worked to shift some of the paradigms of outside/inside workers
  • Began to develop additional training for decolonizing the work we were doing

• But it was also quite difficult due to some dynamics best left for another time.
• We have just transitioned back to the US and are settling into some new things now. Oddly enough, these new things seem to be marrying my time spent in IT and my time spent in ministry so I'm curious to see where it will all go.

It's been an interesting life so far. I wouldn't trade the majority of it for anything. The experience of living in new places, of learning new cultures, of seeing a much bigger world is worth more than anything I can think of. Our kids as well have such a unique view of the world around them. And my own personal journey in it all is so valuable as well. I found myself starting out adulthood as a tech nerd who found a love for coaching people he never expected to have. Who knows what will come? What I do know: other people don't get to write the story no matter how hard they might try.

If you want to decipher who you are, it’s good to begin with the question of what stories have been told about you. Do this not because they are true but because they will help you locate the mirages and their origins. They will help you rend mask from flesh. They may also help you grab hold of something real.

Cole Arthur Riley from This Here Flesh

Deciphering the stories told about you is not an easy task. It's not often a joyous task. But it is necessary for moving forward. For discovering calling. For understanding who you truly are. May we all be able to do this and move forward. 

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Riddle of Strider